Trees in the forest often appear to give each other space, rather than crowding together. This phenomenon had been observed by scientists since the 1920’s. A way to think about is the mutual respect these trees seem to show maintains healthy boundaries, manage resources, and protect the forest.
What these trees do can be a model of behavior for humans. We humans experience reciprocal benefits from setting and maintaining boundaries. This setting of boundaries keeps an individual taking responsibility for their own behaviors, and not taking on the responsibility for another person’s actions. Setting a boundary isn’t intended to make you feel isolated. The example of trees is such that they are not solitary. Trees’ roots mingle and they share resources and communicate through an extended fungal web.
In clarifying your boundaries, you decide who to keep close and in your confidences, and who to keep out of your circle. It becomes a decision about what’s acceptable to you from other humans. This allows you to feel a sense of control in positive ways, such as helping a family member or friend out of love and not obligation. You are less likely to feel vulnerable or taken advantage of if you know where your boundaries lie. Strong boundaries protect your emotions by not being overwhelmed with other peoples’ problems. When the people in your life know where your boundaries lie, they are more likely to respect your time and values. In building self-esteem, self-worth, and self- care, a person must establish boundaries between themselves and the rest of the world.
Here are some types of boundaries:
Physical
Emotional
Time
Sexual
Intellectual
Belongings
Setting and Protecting Your Boundaries:
Priorities in Relationships
Communicate Your Needs
Compromising
In exploring what’s important to you in relationships, consider how you prefer to be spoken to, what values are important in your friends, what makes you comfortable in relationships. Clarify what you need with another person by looking them in the eye and respectfully sharing your thoughts. Keeping these things in mind makes it easier to find common ground.
