Do you feel that you know yourself well? When you look in the mirror, who do you see?
When you see your image reflected back to you is there a feeling of certainty about who you are?
Many people see that reflection and immediately start dissecting that image. Dissecting is an awful term to use, but I think it rings true. Reactions about oneself can range from not liking their physical selves to negative self-talk as to who they think they are as people.
So----what are some ways to make incremental changes to become the person you want to be. This is a tool I use often, but I think it functions as a good starting point. On a piece of paper, write who you aspire to be on the right-hand side of the paper. On the left-hand side, put aspects of you in your life that needs some ‘tweaking.’ As a last step, put an arrow going from the left column to the right for each item. In this way the thing the person wants to change follows the arrow to the change they want to see.
A note about this exercise is that often the person wants only to make small, incremental changes not monumental ones.
It’s a good practice to take one issue at a time to work on.
A person can actually ‘fool’ themselves into being, for example, more confident. ‘Fake it until you can make it’ really works!
How do I know? Because I’ve used it myself. I used to have stage anxiety and figured out that if I ‘play acted’ being confident that it would eventually rub off on me. And it did!
Amy Cuddy wrote in her book, Presence, “The way you carry yourself is a source of personal power---the kind of power that is the key to presence. It’s the key that allows you to unlock yourself---your abilities, your creativity, your courage, and even your generosity. It doesn’t give you skills or talents you don’t have. It helps you to share the ones you do have. It doesn’t make you smarter or better informed; it makes you more resilient and open. It doesn’t change who you are; it allows you to be who you are.”
Of course it was a somewhat slow process, but most things worth having are; something to keep in mind on one’s own journey.
Changes usually don’t happen overnight, so if there’s something worth changing, keep things step by step and that self-evolution will happen.
According to Myquestionlife.com, “Self awareness is one’s ability to identify and understand their feelings, thoughts, and behaviors. As a result, you can monitor yourself better and create a more purposeful life.” According to this website, there are three main categories of self-awareness:
What am I feeling?
What am I doing?
What am I thinking?
Self-knowledge is an important part of life that can:
Increase success in goal setting.
Help a person’s success in achieving wants and needs.
Strengthen relationships
Help with the tools to create positive change
Help achieve emotional balance.
Strengthen decision-making abilities.
Improve productivity and success.
Improve self-confidence
Another key to developing self-knowledge is to recognize your patterns. In looking at your emotional life as a whole, that thought patterns do you think trip you up and get in the way? Let’s say, for example, that when you start getting tired during the day you also start getting down on yourself, losing self-confidence? Make it an exercise to write these instances down, even if you experience them for a few minutes. Thought patterns will start to emerge, letting you see what you need to work on.