As a musician and a creative, I’ve gotten a lot of feedback through the years. There was a tendency as a college student, pursuing music education, to believe and internalize whatever feedback I’d gotten; whether it was a teacher or a colleague I respected, or not.
I believe that there comes a point as an adult, when you develop more trust in what your own feedback is, over other peoples.’
I acknowledge that feedback from other people can be helpful, but it’s good to have a foundation of self-knowledge to put it all in perspective.
Sometimes feedback touches on self-doubt and negative experiences.
It’s important to realize that life and experience gives valuable feedback. For example, you perform in a concert, and afterwards you get great comments and a lot of positivity. You know you played well, and that’s underscored with what you hear after the concert. When feedback is given to build you up, that’s an important element for how you function in the world.
But there’s another kind of feedback which is negative, and serves the individual giving it, instead of yourself. The intention is to blame and embarrass.
Negative feedback can result in the following:
Experiencing more stress
Feeling nervous or anxious around others
The avoidance of social situations
Depression over less socializing
A decline in self-confidence and self-esteem
Here are some ideas to counteract criticism that is intended to be less than helpful:
Self-validation-this is a way to validate both your strengths and your weaknesses-an honest perception of who you are.
Show compassion to yourself-This a part of self-love, and works to prevent harsh self-criticism.
Shift to a growth mindset-If you tend to fixate on others’ perception of you and assuming it’s negative, the tendency is to get stuck in that mindset.
A growth mindset protects you, and keeps you in the lane where you’re working toward to becoming your best self.
Self-awareness- This is an enormous piece of self-understanding and tracking your response to a variety of situations.
As you become more self-aware you’ll be able to spot negative criticism that’s meant to tear down not to build up.
And always, be your own advocate and work to be clear as to your strengths.